Why Your Energy Is Chasing People Away

We’ve all met them…those magical creatures. They are magnetic, attractive, and alluring. You want to be around them and they make you feel so good. You like to tell other people about them and share their tweets with your pals. They even seem to have some sort of glow…and usually they smell really good too. 

This magical creature is a high vibe, charismatic person. You feel energized and happy from being around them and inspired to be more, be better, and live fuller.

The question is, are you in the magical creature club, or do you find yourself on the outside looking in?

If you are the latter don’t lose heart. This is something that can be developed and isn’t just about natural looks, charm, and “maybe she’s born with it” qualities.

First, let's take a look at what’s going on that is causing more of an energetic “stink” that chases people away.

Neediness

Think of a time that you went shopping and were approached by a salesperson. You immediately felt your shoulders tighten and your defenses go up as they made eye contact with you. They didn’t even need to say anything. You just FELT it…that uneasiness and the desire to bolt in the opposite direction. “Just looking thanks!”

You may not consciously know what’s going on but you’re picking up vibration or energy from that person. They are in a vibration (feeling) of lack. They “NEED” to make a sale because they “NEED” money. They see you as something to “get from” rather than to serve. 

This is needy energy which is what most salespeople suffer from…which is ultimately the source of their poor results. 

Are you someone that is always needing things from other people. It can be anything from money, and material things to compliments, reassurance, and validation. Whether you looking to attract your ideal mate or make that sale…needy energy stinks and will chase people away.

Judgment

The raised eyebrow, the sideways glance, the eye roll - these are a few of the expressions one receives from the judgmental individual. Even if you think you’re not showing it on your face…remember, we are vibrational beings. We sense things beyond what we can see with our physical eyes. 

If you’re judging others all the time, no matter how small it may seem, you have “judgy” energy that stinks. People feel it and don’t like it. They don’t know why but they don’t feel good around you. 

Negative Attitude

This one should be fairly obvious, yet a lot of people seem clueless about how unattractive this is. The complaining, bad-mouthing, glass half empty, the world is ending mentality is not helping anyone. 

Again, don’t think you’re fooling anyone with your positive talk when underneath you’re feeling grumpy, angry, pessimistic, and bitter. 

Selfishness

This one can be super hard to overcome, but becoming aware of it in yourself is a powerful first step. This comes out in various ways. CLICK HERE for a fun test you can take to see where you fall on the selfish - altruistic scale.

Pity

This one can be deceiving sometimes. We can think that feeling sorry for someone and sympathizing with their problems is kind and good for them. In actuality, this is not good for them or you. Not only are you helping them to stay in their low vibe, but you also stoop to that level and lower your own vibe by feeling sorry for them. 

Even though some are drawn to this energy initially because they want to feel validated in their victimhood, our higher selves really desire for us to thrive and overcome these low vibrational emotions.  

All of these points are beyond just how you act on the surface…they have to do with a way of being. Faking kindness, selflessness, and flattery isn’t fooling anyone…and if it does, it’s short-lived.

These are a few of the main “stinky” vibes that chase people away. So now what do we do about it?

It isn’t rocket science…in fact, it’s pretty straight forward. Do the opposite of the stinky energy.

1. Rather than being needy, be detached and independent. Take it even further and be giving. Leave everyone you come in contact with, with the impression of increase. This can be as simple as giving a compliment or a smile.
2. Instead of judging people all the time, redirect that energy into sending love instead. Who cares if their fashion sense is off, they say something you don’t agree with or they don’t parent their kids the same as you. Let them be. Practice non-judgment. As Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” (The same goes for judging yourself.)
3. Lose that negative attitude. Whenever you feel negative about something shift your attention onto something else that you like. You can also play a game with your mind and see if you can find good in a situation that you are currently choosing to label as negative. The good is always there, it’s up to you to put your attention on it.
4. Selfishness needs to be kept in check. You don’t want to go too far to either extreme. On the one end, we have people that always put others before themselves and don’t value their own dreams and desires. The other extreme is the person who only cares about themselves and their own interests. Somewhere in the middle is a good place to be.
5. Pity and empathy are two different things. Feeling sorry for someone, validating that they are the victim, and joining them in their self-pity is not kindness. Acknowledging someone’s challenges and giving them space to feel, while encouraging them to move forward and conquer their situation takes strength and courage that many people do not possess. 

You are the creator

It can seem like some people are just naturally charismatic, positive, magnetic people. And in some cases, they are, but more often than not this is something that they have developed over time through intention, discipline, practice, and repetition. Much of who we are is from programming that occurred during childhood and from the mass media of the day, but that isn't an excuse for staying the same.

You may not be responsible for who you are, but you are responsible for who you become. You can create yourself into whatever you want. You decide the kind of person you want to be.

You can go deeper into this process of shifting your energy into the high vibrations that draw all the great things you desire into your life by getting a copy of my book "Reality Hacker". Let go of worry, doubt, fear, anger, bitterness, resentment, and more of those low vibration emotions so that you can rise up and be the person you were born to be. Get started now.